Leadership comes with its share of frustrations. You’ve set ambitious goals, outlined a clear vision, and created a plan that you’re confident will lead to success. Yet, a team member’s performance or attitude isn’t hitting the mark.
- Why don’t they step up?
- Why don’t they care as much as you do?
- Why aren’t they taking responsibility when you always would?
It’s a relatable challenge that surfaces time and again. But before jumping to conclusions about the individual in question, I always encourage clients to start in a more unexpected place: by taking a good, hard look at themselves.
It’s not the easiest route – it can be uncomfortable and even confronting. But it’s the approach that leads to the most transformative outcomes. Here’s why.
The Common Frustrations Leaders Face
We’ve all been there:
- Someone isn’t embracing the full breadth of their accountabilities and you seem to be left holding the incomplete work.
- A team member isn’t willing to go the extra mile; a basic you expect at their level.
- The quality of work isn’t up to standard, or has started to deteriorate.
- They just don’t seem to “get it”.
The immediate reaction is to focus on the individual. After all, they’re the ones not delivering. Yet the truth is rarely that simple. While there could indeed be issues with motivation, capability, or accountability on their part, the starting point for resolving these frustrations lies much closer to home.
Why Self-Reflection Matters
Leadership sets the tone. Whether it’s the clarity of expectations, the culture you cultivate, or the environment you create, your influence shapes the conditions in which your team operates.
When performance issues arise, it’s tempting to lean on assumptions:
- They’re senior; they should just get on with it.
- I shouldn’t have to spell everything out.
- They’ve always been capable, so I don’t know what’s changed.
While those beliefs may hold some truth, they also risk creating blind spots. Before addressing the performance issue head-on, consider whether you’ve done everything you can to set your team member up for success – no matter what level they are operating at.
The Key Questions Every Leader Should Ask
#1 Have I Set Clear Expectations?
Ambiguity is the enemy of accountability. Are the objectives, outcomes, and standards of performance clearly defined? Does the individual understand how their role contributes to the broader goals?
#2 Are Expected Standards Well Understood?
What might seem obvious to you may not be obvious to others. Have you communicated your expectations around quality, timeliness, and ownership explicitly, or are you assuming they should ‘just know’?
#3 Have I Made Myself Available?
People don’t thrive in a vacuum. Have you created opportunities for questions, check-ins, or support? If your own schedule is overloaded, your availability may unintentionally signal to others that they’re on their own.
#4 Am I Treating This Person Differently?
Bias can shape interactions. Are you holding this individual to a higher—or different—standard than others? If so, why?
In essence, ask yourself first “Have I set this person up for success?” – and respond accordingly.
Understanding Before Judging
Where curiosity over criticism comes into play. It’s time to understand the world through their eyes.
Areas you might want to explore, for example:
- How do they think it’s going? What do they believe is going well and what do they want to be better? It might be that you’re on the same page, and letting them come to you with the insight is always much more engaging.
- What might be happening in their world? Could personal circumstances, workload pressures, or external factors be influencing their performance or behaviour? Sometimes people hold back the personal information, but once it’s affecting outcomes, it needs to be out on the table so you can help.
- What barriers might they be facing? Drawing out obstacles, challenges, and issues, along with how they are tackling them is crucial. Whilst they need to own these things, you need to understand and support as required.
Ultimately, you need to get to the bottom of what’s going on and why. Without that understanding it’s unfair to form judgement and start taking potentially punitive action.
And remember, approaching these conversations with empathy doesn’t mean lowering standards or letting people off the hook. It’s about creating a foundation of trust and psychological safety that enables honest dialogue and onward improvement.
Leading with Confidence and Clarity
Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being willing to ask yourself tough questions, own your part in any challenge, and take action to create the conditions for others to thrive.
When you’ve reflected on your own role, clarified expectations, and engaged in open dialogue, you can address issues with greater confidence and fairness. Not only does this approach strengthen individual accountability, but it also fosters a culture of trust, growth, and high performance across your team.
The most impactful leaders recognise that transformation, self or team, often starts with the person in the mirror.
Performance Challenges: How I Can Help
I’m often brought in to help support these types of challenges. Partnering with the senior leader to ensure they’re fulfilling their responsibilities and understanding the root cause of problems, and also by doing some targeted coaching and mentoring with the individual in question – ensuring they are supported fully to make change where needed.
If that sounds just what you need – message me or book a call to explore how we could partner. Or simply stay connected on LinkedIn where I share more on leadership challenges most days.